3D LOSERS.... NO MATTER WHICH WAY YOU LOOK AT 'EM, STILL A LOSER!

Lately I've been wondering more than usual what in the heck is wrong with this world, and today I came up with the answer: there are just too many FUCKING LOSERS around! We should be ready to kick these losers to the curb already, but the pathetic verdict is that we put up with them way more than we should. Obviously, we all hate people who lie, cheat, and steal but there are a bunch of other nasty loserly qualities out there that rarely get the smackdown. It's one thing to put up with these people at work or school for the sake of diplomacy, but there's no benefit to keeping them around in our personal lives. Admittedly, we are all full of shit from time to time, but some people are so full of shit, ALL THE TIME, they can only be best described as 3D losers.... no matter which angle you look at them, they're still a loser!

The distressing thing is that most of these losers don't even know that they're losers. Or will just deny being one. It scares me to think that their DNA may be passed on to the next generation someday. So, I've compiled this list to remind us all of the kind of people to stay away from, and DUH if you belong on this list, you should stay away from me.

Possessing any of the traits listed here would be enough to make you a loser. Have 1+ traits, and you're a fucking 3D Loser.


-RUDE/LACK COMMON COURTESY: These people don't know how to act graciously and are annoying in the pettiest ways. Being a sore loser. Interrupting all the time when you talk. Being impatient and not waiting their turn. Attacking or criticizing out of the blue. Starting catty gossip. Not reciprocating your kindness once in awhile. Treat you like a servant instead of being polite. Being disrespectful in any way. For example, I work with other health professionals who sometimes use foul language or hang up the phone when they don't get the answer they want. This is immature, childish, and RUDE, and shows that no matter who you are, you can still be a low-class citizen. Of all the losers, this one is the worst because they don't even possess the basic skills that you learn when you're 5. Along with mastering the alphabet at that age, you also learn how to say please, thank you, and have manners. So, no matter how rich, good-looking, accomplished, or successful you are, if you don't possess any common manners, you will always be just a fucking loser!

-UNAPPRECIATIVE: These people are losers because they don't know how to recognize a good thing when they have it and/or how to keep it. My friend was telling me about Henry*, a guy who sends his relatives money each month to help with their mortgage. One month it just so happened that his check bounced, but rather than being appreciative for all the times Henry had helped them out, the brother just complained about the $25 overdraft fee. What the fuck???! Then, there are the stories about multi-million dollar lottery winners who squander their money thinking there will be no end to their good fortune. In the end, both these scenarios are the same fuckin' bullshit. Whether people didn't appreciate money or a good friend/partner/relative, it was because they were dumb enough not to see its value in the first place, AND TOOK IT FOR GRANTED.

-SHIT-TALK: These people are fucking disgusting because they're so low-class. Instead of minding their own business or saying or doing something positive, they have to criticize you. People who are confident don't have to talk smack, and don't mind giving out compliments because they do not see it as a threat to themselves and their greatness. Some things I get criticized alot for are being too skinny and being too analytical, but you know what? Other skinny people and intellectuals have never told me that. Only those who could stand to lose a few pounds or those who have nothing going on inside their heads say those things. OOOOH. DON'T HATE ME JUST BECAUSE I'M BETTER THAN YOU.

-CHEAP: I'm not just talking about money here. People can be fucking stingy with their effort, time, love, affection, etc. These people put in the minimum amount that's necessary to keep the connection with you going. For example, giving gifts or doing nice things for you only when it's your birthday or some other holiday. No shit you deserve to be treated nicely on those days, but those who care about you will put on a pedestal and make you feel special EVERYDAY. They will do this without a motive, and without expecting something in return.

-ILLITERATE/CAN'T SPELL: Not everyone has to pursue higher education or have a prestigious degree. It's just that if people want me to take them seriously, especially when they're shit-talking, they should at least get their grammar right. It's hard for me not to laugh or smirk when these people can't even distinguish between their/they're/there, your/you're, whether/weather, its/it's, than/then, who's/whose. Uhm.... no, I will NOT give you any BRAKE'S.

-JEALOUS: Jealous people are losers because they don't realize that jealousy doesn't get them anywhere. Everyone harbors the green-eyed monster from time to time but those who are overly jealous don't know how to control it. They become obsessed with the other person instead of putting effort into improving themselves and being better than the person they despise. Jealous people often say bitchy things to make you feel bad, and/or fail to give you credit where it's due because they don't want to recognize your accomplishments. For example, I like to dress nicely wherever I go because it makes me feel good. Once in a while someone will say something unnecessary and catty like, "What are you all dressed up for?" Blah, jealousy is a disease that gets worse over time and eats away at your happiness. Get well soon!

-UNRELIABLE/FLAKY/INCONSISTENT: They don't return your phone calls, texts, or emails in a timely manner. They stand you up at the last minute. You have no idea how they're going to act at any moment. Some days they're hot, some days they're cold. You just don't even know what person they'll be from day to day. Why even bother with this bullshit and headache? Better to just get a teddy bear or pet for love, friendship, and companionship... at least they'll always be there for you :)

-UNPRODUCTIVE/LAZY: These are the people who lack the desire or ambition to advance themselves. Or, they may dream alot but lack the self-motivation to get off their asses to put their ideas into motion. They dress themselves in designer clothes but don't make it down the catwalk. How often do we see people who complain about being fat and needing to lose weight but don't get off the couch or change their eating habits? This is because it's easier to be complacent than to actually do work. LAZY = LOSERLY!

-INCONSIDERATE: These losers are unable, or don't care to, put themselves in your shoes because it's all about them. My friend Jodi* was telling me about how she once took a cross-country road trip with this one girl. Both of them drove their own cars, and one of Jodi's tires had a leak. The other girl knew about it but when it came time to drive in the mountains, she took off like a rocket in her car because she wanted to have fun, and left Jodi in the dust. What a fucking bitch.

-DEMANDING: It's appalling when people demand more of your time, money, gifts, etc. because they have no fucking etiquette and act as if you owe them something. They don't realize that if you wanted to do something for them, you would've already and that they don't really have to push for it. There was once a young kid at a gas station in central California where I had stopped to fill up my car. He asked if I could buy him some gas because his credit card wasn't working, but I said no. Shocked, he spat on the ground and said, "Merry fucking Christmas to you too." What the fuck?!?! Basically, if someone isn't a member of your family, within your close circle of friends, or someone who's helped you out in the past, then you're not obligated to do anything for them. However, even the fucking homeless people in America act as if they're entitled sometimes. Whatever!

-STALKERS: Ever feel like some people know more your life than you do? You barely mention anything about yourself, yet they know where you live, what you do, your cat's name, what outfit you wore last week. Obviously they have a mediocre life, so they find your's fascinating and have all the time in the world to check what you're up to. They may Google you, find your obscure internet accounts, show up at your door uninvited, and/or bombard you with calls, texts, and emails. SCARY! Run (and hide) as far away as you can.

-TWO-FACED: There's a reason why Two Face and Jekyll/Hyde are villains. I'm so sick of people who bitch at me at work when things aren't going their way but turn around and thank me after they get what they want. Or those who pretend to be nice to you but talk about you behind your back. Are you fucking kidding me? Before I give these losers the time of day, they should decide on which mask they're wearing.

-SELFISH: These people take more than they give in return. Or ask you to sacrifice certain things for their own benefit. They may invite you to go out only when/where it's convenient for them. Or ask you to minimize time with your friends so you have more time for them. Bottom line is, they're not looking out for you, so you need to minimize time with them.

-BLAME OTHERS BUT DON'T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEMSELVES: These people act as if they're victims, rather than holding themselves accountable for their actions and behaviors. I love this classic example: "You don't want to help me because I'm (insert race or medical condition here)." Ummm, more like, I'm not helping you because you're fucking rude and retarded.

-HYPOCRITE: What's up with those who have double standards? I once dated someone who didn't like me to go out with my friends, but then flirted with other women when we went clubbing. These kinds of people are fucking losers because they expect you to do something they can't even do themselves. Well, BYE FOR GOOD THEN.

-THIRSTY/DESPERATE: whether for love, money, friendship, etc. These people are usually unhappy and are therefore looking for something to fill the emotional gap in their lives. They latch on to whatever goods they get their hands on and become "clingy" because they feel that it is essential and they're scared to lose it. Coming on too strong usually makes people back off just as a greedy salesperson can. I have a friend who had just met a guy, and within the first day he called/texted her 8 times. Ugghhhhh. It's ok to want something; it's NOT ok to salivate!

-IGNORANT/OBLIVIOUS: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants. Who lives on Pennsylvania Ave? The President of the US. DUH. How come way more people are likely to know the answer to the first question than the second??? Where is Washington state? Where is Washington, DC? Geezus, I have nothing more to say here.

-DELUSIONAL: These people can't face the facts, because they have a warped sense of reality. There's no point trying to explain things to them because they won't see things as they truly are. Example? AFTER READING THIS BLOG, THOSE WHO ARE DELUSIONAL WON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE A FUCKING LOSER.

-CONCEITED: These people think they're more important than they really are. They think they're hot stuff when in reality they have nothing of substance to offer. For example, I've dated some people who take way too much pride and store in their looks and think that everyone wants them. Ok, that's nice but good looks don't count for shit in the long run, and sex doesn't get me anywhere. NEXT!

-PRETENTIOUS/FAKE: These types pretend to be something they're not. They're insecure what people think or that people will judge them a certain way, so they tuck themselves under false packaging. Have you ever noticed how some women don't want to admit that they masturbate, or try to act demure about it because it's the womanly thing to do? Please. Get real.

-COMPLAIN CONSTANTLY: They chronically whine when they don't get their way. When a restaurant stocks Coke instead of Pepsi. When their $2 burger isn't ready on time. They bitch just to bitch. Actually, they do have a purpose but it's only to make someone else as miserable as they are. Sigh.... can't these people just pony up and shut it already?

-AVOIDANT: It's cowardly to run away. These people would rather run away from a situation than face it because they're scared: of failure, of showing vulnerability, or because it's too difficult, or whatever. They make excuses not to do something because they'd rather go back into their cave. Like my cousin Thomas said, "A real man/woman is always honest, especially when it's difficult." I also think a real man/woman doesn't run away from a situation that's difficult, and wouldn't be scared to say what they really mean.

-USER/TAKES ADVANTAGE OF OTHERS: These people hang out with you due to ulterior motives. They prey on others' innocence, trust, and kindness. They only call or hang out when they want or need something. When you were Plain Joe or Plain Jane, they couldn't care less about you, but when they see that you have something that they want, they suddenly become interested in being your friend. Yeahhh, right. No one wins the lottery for free, baby.

-NEGATIVE/PESSIMISTIC: There are many ways to be negative, but the one I want to focus on here is when people try to hold you back and tell you that you can't/shouldn't do something. They'd rather believe in the impossible than take a risk and think outside the box. Examples: discouraging you from starting a business, a new adventure, learning or trying something new. These people are damn downers because most likely THEY CAN'T DO SOMETHING THEMSELVES SO THEY ASSUME YOU CAN'T EITHER. They're just trying to bring you down to their level because misery loves company.

CLOSED-MINDED: I can't stand people who, as soon as they find one thing about you that's different from them, automatically think you're strange. In this day and age, I can't believe there are still opponents to gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender rights. Everyone has their own set of beliefs and values, but it's not ok to try to impose on others or expect others to be like you. DUH, that's why you have your life and other people have thier's: so you can live your life the way you want, and let others live their's. As long as someone else's actions don't negatively interfere with you or with society, you should stay out of it.

-PUTS UP OR STAYS WITH A LOSER Each of the qualities above obviously makes someone a loser, but the last kind of loser I want to mention is one who associates with a loser. Eventually, that person becomes a loser themselves because they don't realize that they need to kick that loser out of their lives. Birds of a feather flock together, honey.


I can go on and on, but this list is enough to make me appalled, apathetic, and bored. I'm horrified by others' lack of taste and class, lackadaisical since I've come across so many losers to not even be surprised or blink an eye anymore, and bored because that leaves really few people who can impress me. I don't really think I'm being unrealistic or that I expect too much from people. None of the people tagged here have any of these qualities. In fact, most of them are so thoughtful and nice that they probably wouldn't call any of these losers out but instead give them chances over and over again to prove themselves. I'm not expecting anyone to be perfect, but all the above traits are CHARACTER FLAWS THAT CAN BE FIXED. No matter what society or government you live in, there is always a certain amount of free will. People who have these qualities are this way because they choose to be.

In the end, there are many types of losers but they all have several things in common: 1) they're INSECURE, therefore they have to resort to putting you down in order to make themselves feel better; and 2) they're all LEECHES living off of whatever they can get from you, since it's easier to do that than become a real man/woman themselves. Pretty soon they'll leave you drained and frustrated, so it's a waste of your time to associate with them. In any relationship, what each member can contribute should be balanced, and these losers can't provide anything but negativity and headache. They will slow down your potential because they're not adding anything beneficial to your life. It's like working with a coworker who's not up to par. As my mother once told me, "YOU CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS BUT YOU CAN'T CHANGE SOMEONE'S PERSONALITY." Losers remain losers because they don't want to improve themselves, but hey, that's what separates us from them isn't it? ;)

*For the sake of liability, all names have been changed of course ;)